Happy 4th of July, you crazy nutters. Congratulations on winning your independence some 239 years ago (a prime number!). For all of my snark aimed at your ridiculous politicians and celebrities, you’ve done a pretty good job in these ensuing centuries. America was founded on the idea that power should reside in the hands of the people and, while your definition of “people” started out pretty restrictive, you’ve made steady progress on that front.
Still a lot of work to do, of course, You’ve still got a lot of racist DNA in you, you’re not quite there with respect to gender equality, and your treatment of your poor is absolutely appalling. Like I said, you’ve done pretty well moving the bar, and I’m not sure you’ll ever get it 100% right. Just remember, when you’re deservedly patting yourself on the back, that you’ve still got a way to go.