A Proposal For a 13-Month Calendar

Alrighty, I have an idea I’d like to share with you both all, and I think it’s a good one. Here’s the pitch:

A 13-month calendar is, for many reasons, a much better thing than a 12-month calendar. It makes so man things easier when every month is the same length. You just tack a day on to the end of every year that exists outside the regular calendar and you not only get identical months, you also get days and dates to line up every year. The 1st is a Monday, the 2nd is a Tuesday, etc. It’s not quite the metric system for calendars, but it’s so much neater, I think most people would agree that this would be a clear improvement.

Most people, but not all people, and particularly, not all Americans. There’s a contingent in the U.S.A. that is pro-tradition to a fault, and they would likely be strongly against this proposal. They have lots of money and lots of influence. Guns, too, but I don’t think it’ll come to that, because here’s where the genius part of the plan comes in to play.

Name the new, 13th month “Reagan.”

The crowd that would likely resist adding a new month to the calendar is also, by coincidence, the crowd that would like to see Ronald Reagan’s face added to Mt. Rushmore. Naming a month for him and giving him the stature of Roman emperors would be touch to resist. America is not the world, of course, so I’m not going to argue that everyone wins, but I think, just maybe, this could work.
What do you think? Am I on to something?
P.S. Literally everyone I’ve pitched this to in person has come up with the same name for the day that exists outside the regular calendar: “Colbert.” I like it.

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