A Spoiler-Free Non-Review of “Grown Ups 2”

I do not like most Adam Sandler movies. I especially do not like the one where Sandler plays a man-child who has to “grow up” to get whatever prize he’s after. He always gets said prize, even though his “growing up” is perfunctory at best and the film always hints that other people learn more from him than he learns from them.

In other words, almost every Adam Sandler movie.

It finally occurred to me today exactly why I don’t like Adam Sandler movies. It’s not that they’re not funny. I mean, sure, they’re not funny to me, but “not funny” isn’t enough to evoke the kind of reaction I have to his films. It’s not even that they’re formulaic (and oh my stars are they formulaic). Sometimes, it’s fun to watch a movie that offers a pleasant ride an zero surprises.

The thing that gets under my skin about Sandler’s movies is this: They presume that you’re supposed to root for Sandler even though they’re too lazy to give you any reason to do so. He’s Ferris Bueller without any of the wit or charm. He’s just a guy who gets by on being immature and it somehow works out for him in the end. Why would I root for that guy? I want that guy to fail. I want him to fail so badly that he serves as a lesson to everyone else acting like a complete jackass all the time isn’t cute or charming; it’s just annoying. 

I’m not even totally against complete jackasses. But for goodness’ sake, please give us some reason to like the jackass or else don’t expect me to root for him.


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